Life

> there's nothing much to say, but I've been wondering of : 1. Why am i still single? 2. Am I happy being single? 3. Or maybe I don't know how to love girls properly anymore?

It is random though. But I wish I could solve it all. Most importantly, I miss hanging out with my close friends, especially.

I miss hanging out with my neighbors at Rimba.

I MISS ALL THE FUNS WE HAD TOGETHER..


As we get older, my close friends, my new friends, my best friend, any friend. I wish our friendship never ends.


I wish to be with a "girl" who loves me like her own family and treat my friends like her own friends and stuff. I didn't mean to be selfish here or controlling her life or what, IT IS an effort for both sides to be equal. We may argue or what, but we also can solve it smoothly; not blaming each other till death. It is a turn off when they wish and promise but it's a fake.

Baby, you've seen my world inside and out,
but you didn't even bother to feel inside me.

Baby, I love you full of my heart,
but it's nothing to you.

Baby, I beg you not to leave,
but you did it.

Baby, I may be a jealousy type,
but then you don't now why.

Baby, you need to live in your own way,
It is not call an effort for both side.

Baby, I've got nothing much anymore,
so, happy shall you be.



p/s : it's not i hate girls. Hoping someday you guys change for a better way for your future guy. CHEERS

(i got no idea what am i saying)

Does it matter to you?

> was great. in certain. well ya, almost 3 to 4 months haven't seen my ex-classmates. it's like, it doesn't change at all. all of us, are still the same. crazy, loud, assert and hyper. been spending my time so so so much with the guys that i use to hang out and Najihah for the fact, Hadi's girlfriend.

here's the big part. walky-walky around there. and accidentally saw Azilah standing near a shop. well, for me it's very big, as in, it is important to me so much. when i said 'mana yg lain?' i was like, i'm standing infront of a new girl that i haven't met. my heart beats stronger and i went blank and she left.

i know, i'm wasting your time on this small deal of essay though. i just need to express my feelings too kan? at least here might be good but not all.

for you,Az, i love you still.

Live or die is not our choice

> saying these doesn't mean we should commit suicide nor heavenly cracked. life maybe unfair. but no, life always be fair.

keeping my heads up and heart strong requires lot of things, saying, love, care, respect, enthusiast, willing etc. i'm living my life in hatred and regrets. never felt this way before but ya, we should face it though.

to be honest, i'm losing myself up, out of hopes and paths. i've said alot of things but didn't done it very well. now is the time to change things a bit, make things more better.

my point is, i'm sorry to those who felt like i'm a troublemaker and a heart-breaker. i'm not prefect too though and do all of you guys out there. i wanted to change things up too. and i do require some help especially to those who really committed to any relationship. yet, i'm really sorry sayang. i love you, and i'm empty without your presence.

p/s i hope you guys could catch up what i've written because it's late. i can't sleep too. to sayang, i love you so much.

Mistake to memories

> a 10 minutes read of my mistakes in a relationship within 9 months. she is Azilah Mohamed, my only and only one that i love in deeply in my heart. i care about her very very much and yet,it is just so different falling in love with her. i never play, linger nor ignore or even not care about her. all i have been through is a feeling that no other girl could give, to keep my promise not to hurt her, treat her as my only only one. unsuccessful.

this is my mistake, all i have done, not all. i control her so badly 'till she tears apart and yet, i just can't tell myself how stupid i am. and some of my promise had been broken. ... ... ...

the fact, between Azilah (sayang) and i. i do, really love her so much and wanna change my things up and make things better too. 9 months, it is very meaningful livin' that 9 months with you Azilah. i'm keeping myself stand straight but no, i still can't. all i have to change is my attitude that causing you to hurt. my heart, still remain yours and ever. all my promises to you, always be in my hand and in your heart for you to remember.

p/s i love you so much. this could be our 1st picture taken together at Belalong. 9th,August 2008